Today’s topic: being a panty seller who is in a relationship…
I don’t have the actual statistics on this – because, where would they come from? – but I’m going to hazard a guess that probably the majority of women in this line of work are in some kind of relationship.
I, for one, am a married woman.
When I first told my husband about panty selling he thought it was funny. He’s used to my hair-brained ideas by now so in all honesty it wasn’t a surprise to him.
But at first it was just panties. What about the first time I got asked for pictures? What about videos? How did he take that?
In all honesty I was nervous to tell him when I got offered money for some pictures. I don’t know why. He’s supportive and loving but I guess I felt as if I’d stepped over a boundary. That boundary may very well have been my own in all honesty. Projection is a wonderful thing…
Because when I started out it was just panties for me. I had no intention of doing anything else – that topic for another day!!
But when I told him how much a man paid me for three nude photos he was impressed and completely fine about it. It was actually more of a big deal to me.
Perhaps there was a disbelief at how easy it was and that I was overcoming my own internalised taboo-breaking ways!
My husband knows and understands this is my work. This is my passion. This is something that I enjoy that brings me joy and allows me to unleash my creativity in a way that makes me feel empowered and sexy.
He knows when I’m on my phone I’m talking to customers, past and present. He doesn’t know our conversations but there’s complete trust.
Because it is work.
There’s no emotional intimacy here.
it’s what I do and I’m good at it.
He’s more likely to become pissed off at me spending too much time working than what I’m actually doing.
But what can you do if your partner isn’t supportive?
Chances are they feel that something is being taken away from them.
Your energy. Your attention. Your whatever.
It’s important to communicate your reasons for doing this and what it brings you in return. Plus hammering home the financial returns is also a good persuader. Not that money should overrule your healthy relationship boundaries! No way!
But here’s a plot twist: Sometimes it can even improve the relationship.
Look at it this way, if you are feeling all sexy and turned on and desirable then he/she is the one that’s ultimately going to benefit!
it goes without saying that if your partner is dead-set against it that you will have to approach that together as you would any other major challenge in your relationship.
Perhaps you can find a common ground – a list of boundaries that neither will cross?
Do what works for you.
I think it also helps if they know EXACTLY what’s going on. Transparency goes a long way!
My husband started off curious but now I think he thinks he’s heard it all. His eyes have been opened as much as my own.
He helps me take pictures and videos. It’s a team effort sometimes haha.
The bottom line is that this is really only a massive deal if you make it one. Otherwise it’s no different than any other job. It just so happens to be better paid, more fun and more interesting than a lot of other jobs you could be doing 🙂