The Best Panty Seller In The World

Right, so pay attention because I just stopped mid-workout to write you this message.

That’s right, I’m sweating, I’m shaking and I STINK but when the Muse comes to your bedside don’t tell her you’ll fuck  her later. Ya know?

So I was being all crazy creative last night or whenever it was I forget now. And I said to my husband: “You know, I’m probably one of the best panty sellers in the world.”

He’s never surprised by the shit I come out with so there’s that.

But I fucking meant it.

And I meant it for a few reasons.

Because I really do take a lot of pride in my work.

I offer exceptional customer service.

I do EXACTLY what I’m paid to do.

I give so many damns about this industry it’s borderline ridiculous.

I care so much about helping other sellers be successful I should get a frickin’ KNIGHTHOOD.

And I am a good seller.

So yeah, I care. I’m good. I know I’m good.

AND THEN I got the idea to create one of my stupendously silly adverts taking the piss out of the Carlsberg advertising that goes along the lines of ‘If Carlsberg did _______ it’d be the best in the world.’ You know what I’m talking about.

So quick as a flash, because when strike when the idea hits you – never later – I created the advert and promptly posted it on Twitter and my platforms.

This morning I wake up to a Tweet from a seller (hello) and she meme’d me back (is that a saying?) along the lines of me being a big head and how everyone was thinking it. Which is no doubt true and absolutely fine.

And of course, that’s the way that looks. It’s the same old “Who the fuck does she think she is” that crops up for people like me who are a bit creative and disruptive and unpredictable.

And I KNOW I TRIGGER THE FUCK out of plenty of people. That’s what I’m good at.

And of course the irony is that I AM TRIGGERED to reply to you here for the benefit of all the panty sellers in the Universe to say:



Oh, I’m good but I daren’t share I’m good in case I offend people? (Spoiler: attention brings sales)

Or, “I’m not a good seller or the best seller” – hopefully the fuck not! 

Or, “I’m good but saying your good is wrong and you shouldn’t do that”. Hmm.

Or, “I shouldn’t tell people how good I am because when you’re good at something you keep it to yourself or you don’t even really allow yourself to admit you’re good.” Ok.

I mean, all of the above just seems pretty screwed up to me.

That’s not to say for one minute I’m the only best panty seller in the world.

I mean, that would definitely make me a little bit crazy to assume that there’s nobody even close to my levels of panty selling prowess. AND if you’ve listened to my podcast you know that I’m the first to admit I’ve still got a lot to learn.

I know there are amazing sellers out there. Hopefully you are one of them!

But here’s what maybe separates the panty selling wheat from the chaff.

When you LIVE AND BREATHE AND ACT from that place (the place where you are the best), then guess what? The world pricks up its ears (and maybe other appendages) and before you know it you literally are a massively successful panty seller if not in income then in fucking mindset.

Which is, by the way, the first and foremost place you OUGHT to be a great panty seller.

If you tell yourself you’re not the best, then you aren’t.

If you tell yourself it’s wrong to promote your brilliance, then you need some sales and marketing tips.

If you are good then fucking share it with the world.

Because it’s true.

Unless it’s not.

You decide.

Every fucking thought and belief is a choice.

And damn straight I choose the good ones. Nay, the best ones.

So welcome to the best panty seller in the world club. Are you joining me? 


P.S. Ready to start selling your panties online today?

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