Comparing yourself to other sellers kinda comes with the territory. Not just in sex work, of course.
In any industry there are people who shine brightly and those who want to be where they are.
It’s just the way of things.
And of course, I can tell you not to focus on what others are doing or let yourself be distracted by that.
But in truth, for you and for me, it’s going to crop up from time to time.
What I speak about in tomorrow’s podcast is the fact that this happens for me too and what is useful in these situations is to look for what it is that is really going on when you’re jealous of another seller (or anyone in general).
What mirror is being held up for you and what does it say?
What EXACTLY is it that you want to emulate?
What’s the energy that you’re seeing that you desire?
Can you sit with it and ask yourself what’s the main feeling behind the feeling and what are you being guided to do?
For some, we can instantly feel and tell ourselves that we’re not good enough. That’s a real fucker that one.
But sometimes it’s just a case of being called to uplevel in some way – whatever way it is that the person you’re jealous of has already. And spoiler: sometimes it’s your projection on to them and they don’t even have the thing you think they have.
Either way, it’s a calling within you to take action and find out what it is you need to do.
So for me, recently feeling this way was awakening a frustration within me and a drive to uplevel the quality of not only my work, but my life.
It was simply a case that there was already this dissatisfaction within me that the other person finally brought to a head for me.
What I’d suggest is you write down the qualities you perceive that person to have and then look at how you can either uplevel those qualities within you OR identify how you already show up in those areas (albeit in different ways).
When it comes to the ill-feeling that surrounds comparisonitis, we can either choose to see the gift and the opportunity, or we can choose to feel shit for the rest of the day/week/month because we just want what they have and we want it now. (Not even taking into account the journey they went through to get the thing/be the person.)
So if this is you, know that first of all, it’s normal.
Then choose to see the opportunity to uncover what’s waiting to be discovered within you and how you can use this frustration to drive you forward.
Or, you can let it hold you back.
Always, your choice.