How To Message Panty Buyers

I got this question from a used panties seller…

“I am wondering how to go about messaging people without sounding pushy and turning them away and how to change the conversation to payment if it’s going on for a while”

These are great questions so let me go into them.

Really, the only way to sound pushy is to literally message someone cold and ask them to buy from you.

Or to mention your products or services AT ALL.

I literally NEVER mention my products or services unless they do first.


So there’s that. As long as you’re not doing that then you really don’t need to worry at all.

If anyone accuses you of being pushy (and it does happen to sellers sometimes from guys who are on massive power trips and think they should be the one to contact you) then it’s really not the end of the world at all.

These are all leads and they’re right there on the market INVITING to be messaged.

Because newsflash: they joined a selling site so they are there to buy by virtue of being there at all. And by being on a platform with a messaging system, they are participating in that functionality and can only expect to receive messages.

I’ll be honest, I think most guys actually LOVE to receive messages (AS LONG AS YOU ARE NOT ASKING THEM TO BUY) and the ones that do, well, like I said, they can do one and join Sofia Gray where they can’t get messaged at all!!

So I guess what I’m saying is don’t sweat it. Get over yourself that you are contacting guys and realise that the more you do it, the better you get at doing it and the more sales you’re likely to make.

You can’t sit back and wait for sales to come to you.

I repeat, you can’t sit back and wait for sales to come to you.

Well, you can, but it takes a lot longer.

So now we’ve got that out the way. The next thing is what do you say?

Well, that depends.

In my censored Training and in the Pantydeal Training I show you the kinds of things I would say.

It’s a lot more tricky when you’ve got nothing to go on on a platform which is why I think platforms should make it mandatory for guys to type something.

But take time to read the buyer’s profile.

Is there a conversation to be started from the picture they’ve used on their profile? Is it weird/wonderful/funny?

What have they written in their bio? Is there a small nugget of something that you can find to turn into a question?

PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES – that’s #science so take advantage and ask them (and hopefully be genuinely curious because people can tell when you’re faking it) about them or something to do with something you’ve noticed.

What other clues are there on their profile that you can use? I’ve started a conversation with a few guys who got scammed (could tell from the reviews) and that was a doorway to engaging.

If there’s really nothing you can see on the platform, then you can go all out and message blindly. However, it’s a good idea to stay far away from just saying “hey,  how are you?”. Chances are they’ve had that message 16,000 times already.

Tell a joke.

Say something interesting.

Think leftfield.

It might not work every single time – it definitely won’t – but it gets your brain trained to start conversations.

Think about other sales people, how do they grab your attention and get a foot in the door? Because that’s what you’re trying to achieve here…

Bear in mind that you might not get a reply 95% of the time and that is OK. Plenty more fish in the panty buying sea.

As for the second question, there may come a point where it’s starting to look like you’re just being used for conversation and it’s really not likely to lead to a sale unless you point it that way.

Now, again, a guy will get a feel pretty quickly for whether he wants to buy from you or not. He might also not be in a position to buy right at this moment and the last thing you want to do is scupper any rapport you’ve built just because he’s not buying now.

It’s important to get the balance right.

It’s ok to have a real-time conversation exchanged over KIK or the messaging platform and then say you have to go and get on with things. You’re not there to chat all day.

If he comes back and you’re having a lot of to-and-fro but it’s not leading anywhere and you want it to, my advice is STILL DON’T MENTION your offerings.

That’s right, don’t steer the conversation to a purchase or ask them what they want to buy.

If they want to buy, they will. Your job is to navigate conversations in line with the time you have available to devote to that person.

If they are taking up a lot of your time, dial back. Say you have to get on now but it’s been fun chatting.

Start to slowly pull back the messages and respond a little less in terms of words or frequency.

Mostly that’s when a guy will bring up a sale or say he can’t buy right now but next time he’d like to buy from you.

And then you keep the pot on a very low simmer but don’t switch it off completely.

Does that make sense?

You’ll get better at managing the expectations of future buyers as you get more experienced but generally there comes a point in an exchange where it’s a very obvious juncture for them to buy or not.

The more you do this, the better you get. And yes, it’s likely you’ll spend more time than you hoped talking to someone and it didn’t lead to a sale.

BUT that person won’t forget how you made them feel and as long as you stay polite but secure your time boundaries, then chances are they will come back to you at some point.

So, I hope that sums it up for you.


Don’t freak out about messaging.

Try to be engaging and different and raise interesting conversations and questions.

Respect your time and theirs.


Pull back if the conversation is taking up too much of your time or energy.

Don’t be afraid to assert boundaries.

P.S. Ready to start selling your panties online today?

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