The last few days I’ve felt really fucking uneasy.
You know, that niggling feeling like someone has fucked you off but you can’t remember who it was or what they did but you just FEEL it.
Yep, that.
And I’ve been trying so desperately to get to the bottom of the niggle.
What is bugging me?
What is pissing me off?
And I’ve found myself endlessly fucking scrolling the internet in some kind of effort to distract myself from getting to the bottom of what’s really making me feel so…
Restless.
Frustrated.
Annoyed.
And no, it isn’t the fact I’ve been locked in my house for 30 days straight – although I won’t lie, that’s not helping.
I know what it is.
It’s that I’m so fucking sick and tired of playing so damn small.
Of waiting for some kind of permission from someone, somewhere, to say it’s ok for me to ask for more.
That I’m worthy of that level. The level the bigger girls are playing at.
And here’s how I sabotage myself.
I tell myself I don’t REALLY want to be on my phone/laptop all day anyway so I should just quit.
I tell myself that I’m already earning enough or I just need more time to reach THAT level.
I tell myself that I’m too old for this shit anyway. I won’t make it. I can’t reach that level because X, Y and Z.
Can you relate?
Are you feeling the anger towards yourself that I feel for stopping myself from going next-level?
Do you experience the highs and lows, like me?
The high of the sale and the money and the low of nothing seemingly happening and thinking that this is it. This is all you’re capable of creating in your life because something fucking invisible stands in the way of where you are now and the WHERE YOU KNOW YOU BELONG?
I am so fed up of it.
I know that what everyone sees – the me who fucking shows up and keeps showing up and does the thing and makes the stuff and unleashes the fire in her soul – is still only fucking 10% of what I’m capable of.
And maybe that’s the same for you.
I’ve been playing too small.
I’ve built this box and I’ve put myself in it and then spent lots of time telling or trying to convince myself that that’s where I’m supposed to be.
But it’s just not true.
And it’s not true for you either.
What. Are. We. Fucking. Waiting. For?
Why don’t we just UNLEASH now?
Unapologetically.
Allow everything to come through with full unwavering faith and trust that we were meant for more?
It’s got to happen.
Because I’ve quite honestly reached my FUCK THIS SHIT moment.
Have you?
No. More. Playing. Small.
No. More. Playing. Small.
No more fucking about wasting time for a pittance.
No more thinking or believing or acting like we’re not good enough to say more, do more and charge more.
No more little fish. I want to swim in the ocean with the bigger fish. And that’s where I belong.
I claim it.
Do you?
Are you ready to REVOLUTIONISE the game and how you play it?
I am.
No. More. Playing. Small.
Let’s fucking do this.
Let’s do it now.
Dalma x