I get asked a lot by buyers why I sell used panties online.
Like, a lot.
I can rattle the benefits off the top of my head pretty easily but I don’t always mention the money. Because, you know, that seems a little off somehow.
But I realise of course that’s utter bullshit.
Take for example a guy asked me recently why I do what I do.
I replied about feeling empowered, feeling sexy, free to work when I like etc. And he replied, pretty sharply
“Oh, so you don’t do it for the money?”
And I thought, well, yeah, I mean of course I fucking do but I don’t want to say that to you because I don’t want you to think that’s the reason I do it.
Isn’t that interesting?
I mean, of course, that is the NUMBER FUCKING ONE REASON WHY THE MAJORITY of sellers do it.
The money.
But I realised that I’ve internalised some message that says I can’t tell THEM that. Because they’ll judge me and they won’t want to buy from me.
Must.Keep.Up.Some.Kind.Of.Pretence>That.Money.Is.Just.A.Nice.Bonus.
No.
The truth is, the actual truth is MONEY is the fucking reason I do this. It’s not the only reason but it’s sure as shit the number one reason.
You know that question they ask “What would you do every day even if you received no money for it?” Or, you know, “If you already had $1,000,000 in the bank how would you spend your days?”
It’s meant to be a way of figuring out your passion and purpose in life. Umm…
Well, I gotta be honest and say, not this. I like what I do but I wouldn’t do it without money!
So last night, another guy asks me why I sell panties online.
And so I made sure that the first thing I mentioned was the money. Because this time I put aside what HE might think of me and made a proclamation to MYSELF that says it’s ok for me to acknowledge and realise that money is my main driver here and that is OK.
You see, women have internalised mysognistic beliefs around money that comes from the inequality and sexism we’ve experienced in the workplace since the war and since women actually started working.
I can see that I have this idea that if men are buying from me, and especially this kind of item, which I have to (or choose to) convey an overly sexualised image of myself, means that there has to be some level of perception that I’m a super naughty, highly-sexed woman that wants to sell panties for the sheer thrill of it.
And I know that’s the image that I and other sellers project in order to make sales.
I definitely try and stay away from that and keep it as real as possible. I am not this sex nymph in real life. I’m a “normal” woman and I’d actually class myself as pretty vanilla.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I speak to other sellers EVERY DAY and I know there are some super sexual sellers getting up to things that I didn’t even know WERE THINGS!! But I’m talking about me here.
For me to feel like I’m in integrity I have to be normal, everyday natural me and that isn’t a swimming in my own juices kinda person.
So what am I saying?
I’m saying that I’ve recognised that not mentioning the money has been me playing into a pretence about the real reasons I do this work and wanting to convey an idea to potential buyers in order to make sales.
And I know it’s a valid strategy and really I should probably be promoting it but I can’t. Because it’s not the truth.
Yes, I get validation and yes, I feel sexy.
Yes, I get a naughty kick out of wearing and yes, I enjoy (very much) the videos I make.
Yes, I love the admiration and the feedback and I love being creative with my work.
And YES, the biggest YES, is that I get to make money. Good money. An income.
Ask any buyer why they do what they do for a living and it’s likely the same. It’s the job they get paid to do. If they would do it for free then they’re in the 1% and the same goes for this work.
It’s fun. It’s easy. It’s exciting. AND IT PAYS.
And that’s ok. It’s ok to WANT to make money from this. It’s ok to make money from this and for that to be your sole driver in this work.
And this is a message for me as much as it is for you…