If you’ve listened to The Panty Selling Podcast for a while now you’ll know that I’m a member of a number of different seller’s groups. Four right now. One of which is my own (Sellers Before Fellas).
The kinds of conversations that take place are largely similar and I think being in these groups is really important – particularly for new sellers – for lots of reasons.
Community, for one.
Protection, for two.
A place to vent.
A place to share success.
A place to keep your ear to the ground and find out what’s going on in the industry at large.
All good things. All good things.
But here’s another thing I’ve noticed.
Sometimes… Some…times… these groups can work the other way for some sellers.
Depending of course on the conversation and the personality of some of the members.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that each group has it’s own kind of culture and personality depending on who is in the group.
So you may find yourself in a group with overly-confident (or at least seemingly so) members who are direct and tell it like they see it.
Alternatively, you might find yourself in a group with younger sellers who haven’t been working as panty sellers for very long. Perhaps there is less confidence or certainty.
Each group is ever so slightly different and I love that. Because you get something unique from each.
Nothing wrong with that.
But sometimes you may end up feeling demotivated or like you aren’t good enough. Especially when the topic of earnings or how much someone is K-I-L-L-I-N-G it comes up! Especially when you haven’t earned a dime and you’re really freaking out about it.
I’ve talked before about how to stay motivated as a panty seller.
And the thing is that sometimes you can feel motivated by that talk and other times you can want to throw your phone across the room and call everyone complete bastards.
I get it.
I’ve been there.
It’s sometimes hard to be happy for people when your own circumstances suck ass.
If you’re struggling with this, here’s my advice:-
- Take it with a pinch of salt. Some personalities like to embellish to make things seem rosier than they are. This comes from deep insecurity.
- Ask them for advice about HOW they’re doing it. Most sellers are genuine and will want to see you succeed too. But that doesn’t mean milk them for their information or support and not give back. Offer to do something FOR Them in return (or tip them).
- Remember that they might be offering services that you aren’t, or in a way you aren’t.
- Remember that they might be putting in 10x more hours than you. Or effort.
- Remember that you will have your time too. Time is a big factor when it comes to success.
- Become aware that this is even happening. Most people aren’t even aware that the reason they’re in a shitty mood is because they read/saw this thing and instantly ran that comparison.
- Keep your blinkers on, keep moving forward. Fuck what everyone else is doing/making. You do you.
- Focus on your strengths and what you have to offer. You don’t want to actually be that person. You want what you think they have. What if they also happen to have a lot of their own problems or insecurities.
- Like I said, you can’t trust what you see or what they tell you. Everything is projection. Everything is ego. It takes courage to be fully transparent about what shit you’re dealing with and people rarely do it. Hence the highlight reels you get on social media. None of it is real.
- Take time away. If your group is seriously getting you down and you’re finding it impact on you and how you show up, leave the group or take a break from it.
I’m not going to tell you not to compare yourself because that’s basically like saying don’t breathe. We will compare ourselves against other sellers. All the fucking time. It’s impossible not to. Anyone that tells you they don’t is fucking lying.
It’s how you handle the comparison that counts. The best way I’ve found to deal with it is through my journal. Catching your negative self-talk is a PRACTICE. It’ll always be there but when you become AWARE of it that’s when the game changes.
Fear. Resistance. Comparison. Feeling not good enough. You will have that for at least another forty years so you may as well find a way to handle it.
Like I said, my journal is my best friend for getting through the fucking bullshit. I don’t spend much time writing it out. In fact, it’s rare. What I do is write out the EXACT opposite of whatever negativity is plaguing me at that time.
I AM A SUCCESSFUL PANTY SELLER.
I MAKE SALES EASILY.
MY CUSTOMERS LOVE TO BUY FROM ME.
You get the jist.
This is what I go over in the 7 Day Sales Challenge.
That is what works for me.
Having someone who gets it is also key. Can you talk to your friends/partner about it?
Being able to vent is so important. Ironically sharing it in your sellers group can also help, particularly if it’s right after someone has just let loose on how well they’re doing.
And remember, we all started at zero.
We all have bad days.
We all worry about how well/shit we’re doing.
Nobody said this would be easy all the time!
If you want to join my Sellers group for support, message me.