In yesterday’s super long blog post about time-wasters in the used panty selling world, I realise I spoke out of turn.
Let me tell you what happened this morning.
I got a message from a guy that just said “Hi.”
To which I responded “Hi.”
And then I got “What are you up to?” and I thought, oh, here we go again.
So I responded the usual way. And mentioned a few things I was up to today.
Then I got a small paragraph back about him that didn’t lead anywhere and I realised straight away, this isn’t a time-waster, this is a grown man who doesn’t know how to talk to women.
And that’s when it hit me.
There are all kinds of buyers on selling platforms. Strange and wonderful and diverse but ultimately, a lot of these guys are probably single and probably lacking a lot of experience with women. Ya, know?
And I felt terrible.
Because a lot of the time this hasn’t even been on my radar and so I’ve made an assumption that the men that interact with me SHOULD behave and communicate in a certain way.
But here’s the truth:
I have NO experience in talking to me who have no experience talking to women.
I’ve no reference point here.
I can of course make conversation but what I’m getting at is that the times I’ve written certain people off in the past as being here to waste my time, it might genuinely have been that they really don’t know how to engage.
And so what’s awkward shuffling around for them has made me impatient and I haven’t taken my cue to make things a little easier for them.
So from this day forth, before I write someone off as time-wasting, I am going to run the interaction through my new understanding of “Is this guy just really struggling to talk to me because I’m a confident woman?”
And take it from there.
So to reiterate, when I said yesterday that if the conversation isn’t going anywhere by message three or four, sure, that can be a sign that there’s nothing going down here. BUT it can also mean the person is struggling to get to any point if there is one or to communicate with you in general due to lack of confidence or experience.
So that’s that.