Selling Underwear Online – Building Trust & Rapport with Buyers

I received such a great question from a new seller yesterday.

She explained that she didn’t realise just how much she’d have to talk to these guys in order to make a $25 sale (that’s the average price of panties btw).

This question is so powerful for so many reasons.

First and foremost, let’s get the math out the way. Yes, if you spend five hours of your time chatting with a guy for a $25 return, that’s $5 an hour for your time.

But it isn’t that straight-forward.

Because that guy could go on to buy more from you without needing all the chat, because now he knows you, right? So if he buys another few times at a total of $100, that $5 per hour suddenly becomes $20 per hour.

But that aside, how much should you be chatting to guys?

Well, it depends.

First off, let’s agree there’s no sexting without payment. There’s no sniff of a sexual conversation. If there is, that’s a time-waster who wants to get off for free. A guy that asks you about anything you wouldn’t talk to your Dad about is trying to get off for free.

Then there’s the guy that just wants to talk all the time without it looking like he’ll ever buy. Why? Because he just messages you every day treating you like his girlfriend. He’s getting off on an emotional connection need and that is fucking exhausting, lemme tell you.

With that, you need to bring the conversation to a forced conclusion to find out either way. But not in the first five minutes obviously!!

But the guys who genuinely want to get to know you a little better will do neither of the above. You will exchange messages for a bit of conversation and there will come the golden moment where they’ve made up their mind that you are the person they want to buy from.

When do you reach the golden point???

Well, unfortunately there’s no fixed rule.

But for me, I’m going to say on average exchanging conversation over the course of a few hours for one day. Or a few smaller conversations up to three – five times.

Usually by then my customer buys from me or at least knows whether it’s a yes or no.

And sometimes they don’t buy.


Yes and no.

Whilst I haven’t got a financial return, I choose to see it as a different kind of return. Customer experience and maybe some insight. Plus, you never know how connections will pan out. Sometimes they don’t buy from you then but out of the blue you hear from them six months later.

The thing about panty selling in particular – not so much with digital content sales – is this isn’t Amazon. They don’t arrive in hordes and buy on the basis of a description. I mean, buyers come on, they like your pics, they like your bio, they like your reviews but they still want to make the connection with you before they want to buy. Not always, definitely not always, but mostly they will.

The ones that don’t want to chat? Well, they’re great, of course. They are the panty buying unicorns. If I KNEW how to find them, believe me, I’d tell you. (Law of Attraction is my best option right now) 😀

And if you aren’t prepared to do a bit of chatting, you won’t make as many sales. That’s the bottom line.

Now, it’s so much easier when that conversation is good and fun. Sometimes it feels a little like hard work. But that could be for a whole number of reasons. If you aren’t prepared to put some effort into it, you wont’ make as many sales. That’s the bottom line.

It’s a delicate artform to be able to determine whether someone is out for a chat and no purchasing power OR genuinely wants to see how you both vibe in order to buy.

And it’s something you will get better at determining over time.

Are you prepared to put in the hard labour to get to that point?

Because the more you talk to these guys who don’t buy and never will, the more you’ll be able to distinguish them straight off the bat! And that’s the truth.

So if you plan on staying for the long-haul, if you want to make a real go of this, hone the art and craft of the sales conversation.

The right moment to ask them if they’d like to buy and how to do that
The amount of time you dedicate to a conversation before telling them you have to get back to work
The point where you know a sale is imminent so you keep the home fire burning

All of that will come!

P.S. Ready to start selling your panties online today?

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