Having listened to the Deadly Sins Duo in their latest podcast, I’ve been inspired to write about what I wish I’d known when I first started selling panties online. To make things a little interesting, I’m going to intersperse with the things I’m pretty sure I nailed early on. Ya know, keep it light. 😉
I wish I’d known the value in loyal and repeat customers from the very beginning. From nurturing relationships rather than trying to make a quick buck. It probably took me 4 months to really have that ‘a-ha’ moment around my customers.
Initially it was very transactional for me. I was on the hunt for ‘new’ customers on the daily. Once I’d sold to them they pretty much went out of my head. I guess part of that might have been to do with my very short-term view. When I started selling it was for extra money to cover a 5 month reduction in cash-flow. For that reason, my intention was to only be in this for a little while and so I wasn’t thinking about the long-term value of a happy customer.
It’s not that I wasn’t aiming to please customers, it’s just that I wasn’t thinking about how this $10 sale could actually be $100 or even $1,000 down the line.
Take home message: View every customer as the goose that lays the golden egg.
Next up, I wish I’d not charged so little – I mean, everyone can probably relate to that. I’ve already shared the $10 panties I sold because I was basically a crazy bi-atch who did all the stupid things. Similar to what Lady Aislynn said on the podcast, it was when I started joining KIK groups that my pricing had to change. I was encouraged to up my prices by a number of sellers but it took a while for me to get to a point where I was comfortable.
Now, I’m very happy with my pricing. I could probably charge more. We’re all still on a personal journey with not only our self-worth but our ability to step very confidently in the place of being 100% behind our pricing and not letting external circumstances dictate what we do and how much we do it for.
Scarcity crops up for many of us and as I’ve talked about on the podcast before, on days where I just really wanted to make a sale I’d be more inclined to reduce prices. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as it’s not a power struggle where you come away feeling extremely dissatisfied with the level of compensation you’ve received.
Take home message: Up your prices. Probably.
The next thing I wish I’d realised sooner is that there are plenty of fish in the sea. I spent my whole first year selling predominantly on Pantydeal. It’s where I’d spend 95% of my time. With that limited perspective you can begin to believe all kinds of fucked up things about running out of customers and having exhausted all possible sales.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
The fish numbers are growing.
Again this feeds into the scarcity mindset. I’d regularly trip myself up on my own bullshit about “That’s it, that’s all the sales I’ll ever make” or “I’ve had my run now and it’s over.”
Just not true.
There are new buyers joining all the time. There are existing customers who will want to continue to buy.
It’s never over.
Take home message: Seriously, it’s never over. Well, not until you decide anyway.
So let’s mention something I got right, shall we?
In the beginning, I really was following what everyone was doing. At some point something clicked and I decided I just didn’t give a fuck and I was going to allow me to be me and show up as me and my personality and to fuck with the consequences.
This was a bold move given that the requirement for money hadn’t vanished. I still needed to make sales but I guess I just thought I’d have some fun with it.
As soon as I started having fun, I made more money and enjoyed hanging out on the platform more.
Personality is what will set you apart from the rest.
Take home message: Be you. Unapologetically.
Another thing I got right from the beginning was collaboration over competition. One of my signature sayings.
If you view every other seller as competition, you’re basically screwed.
If you buy into the philosophy that you’re on this side and all the other sellers are on the other, then there’s less room for enjoyment and income. It ties in to what I wrote above about your personality being what sets you apart but also into the scarcity mindset I mentioned too.
If there’s not enough for you because of all of them, then you’re believing in scarcity and that WILL without a doubt, impact everything you do.
I’m still human. I still compare myself. I know for me I need to put on my blinkers and keep forging my way forward whilst simultaneously coming from the space that other sellers are not taking anything away from me but are actually contributing to the community being safer and more enjoyable.
Take home message: Collaboration over competition.
Another mistake I made early on, not exploring other avenues for income.
I’ve been around the block a few times. Hell, I was alive before the internet and I’ve sold other things online so I know about all that kind of shit.
I know passive income is KING.
I wish I’d stepped firmly into the mindset of setting up passive income streams from the beginning. I’d say it took me a year to have that ‘a-ha’ moment.
It took me a year to set up on Onlyfans. In some ways that was good because I already had a tonne of content ready to go. I’ve only just got started on I Want Clips. Again, hindsight is a beautify
Take home message: examine all the options and take action
With that, I did also run the mistake of spreading myself too thinly with platforms.
Remember I decided to join six platforms at once?
Good idea but also a bit silly.
My advice to you is to get up and established on one platform before joining another. With that, if it’s one of the smaller platforms, I would actually recommend another platform alongside where you share the same listings and postings.
Take home message: Don’t spread yourself too thin across too many platforms
Next up, EGO
Yep, your ego will trip you up. That’s it’s job.
I’ve felt power struggles come up in interactions with customers (or Pantydeal) and I’ve let it get to me.
I’ve had days ruined because I’m pissed off at certain things that I’ve seen come up on platforms by other sellers or buyers and I’ve chosen for it to ‘mean’ something either about me or about the industry.
You have to learn to compartmentalise A LOT in this industry. Same goes with running my group for sellers. I’ve actually seen thousands of sellers come and go now. I think I’ve heard and seen it all but I haven’t. Shit comes up, people are fucked up and judgements happen.
I care but sometimes I care too much and I get mentally involved in things that don’t actually do anything to improve my business or my life in general.
It’s a hollow platitude to say leave the drama at the door. Drama will come up but learning to let it go is a work in progress for me. I’m opinionated as fuck but I have a position that I’ve put myself in with being a voice for this industry where I need to be a bit more distanced from things.
Not sure that makes sense…
Take home message: expect that you’ll get fucked up over certain things that happen in this work.
Leading on from that however, one of the things I really did get right from the start was creating my group Sellers Before Fellas.
The group has been my baby and my saviour in so many ways.
Yes, hundreds/thousands of women come through the doors only to leave the industry in a very short time and there are personalities that have joined and left that I genuinely miss. This is a high turnover industry and you end up feeling like one of the checkout operators that still works at the supermarket having seen thousands of students come and go. It’s nice and I love creating the space for women to learn the ropes and decide whether they like it enough to stick it out long-term.
But my group has given a lot of women the opportunity to learn from me and the other women that I know has contributed to them being able to earn more money and create opportunities. Again, it’s my group but it’s very much a collaboration or ‘hive-mind’ community space.
Take home message: Join Sellers Before Fellas. (Message me to join)
That’s all I can think of right now
Don’t forget the Pantypreneur Panty Selling Planner is out now!