I got this message from a used panty seller:
“Hi, Dalma! I recently started listening to the Panty Selling podcast and started a profile on pantydeal, within 2 days I have had 3 buyers message me, 2 of them I’m currently trying to make a sale with for next week but 1 seller is a super polite transgender and said she was looking for a regular seller and wanted to get to know each other a little first… with all of that being said, how much “small talk” and getting to know someone should you put in before you realize they are actually looking for someone to just talk to? Do you have any advice for me?”
This is a great question.
So there are two options here.
One, they genuinely want to get to know you a little better.
Two, they’re looking for someone to use for their emotional needs and have no intention of buying from you.
Your first port of call should always be their profile.
Have they been on the site for a while?
Do they have any reviews?
If they have reviews and have been on the site for a while then chances are they are looking for a little bit more connection with you and so that’s fine. We’ll come to how to manage that in a moment.
If they are brand new to the site or have been on for a while with zero reviews, my red flag would be there and I’d not spend nearly as much time engaging.
A respectful buyer will respect your time and not take too much of it up. Occasional messages here and there with no need to reply straight away is just a given.
There is such a thing as building know, like and trust. But that is not the same as talking for hours or anywhere near that.
A guy popping in here and there is fine by me. I’ll respond and at the time I’m ready to move on to something else I’ll politely say I need to get back to work and it was nice chatting.
If that goes on more than three times then I’m more likely to think that this person is using me for their benefit. ESPECIALLY if they only talk about themselves. Getting to know me better means exactly that. There is nothing more crushingly boring than a guy talking about himself all the time. So take a look at just how much of the conversation is about them. If it’s all about them and their stuff, you’ve got a time and energy vampire on your hands.
Be polite but have boundaries.
The good news is you get better at this with time.
There are sellers who aren’t prepared to have chit-chat AT ALL and that’s fine if that’s you. I’m quite happy to chat provided, like I said, it’s an equal exchange and it respects my time and boundaries. Also, if the conversation is fun then I’m happier to engage.
You find a balance that works for you.
At any time if you want out the conversation either don’t reply, reply with emojis if the conversation is boringly one-sided or say you need to get back to work now.
When they reply with “What do you do for work?”
Say “I sell panties online” 🙂
That usually brings them back to the fact that you aren’t here to chat FOREVER.
But my best advice is be firm but fair, don’t chat for hours at a time and do your research into their own background.
Just because they’re under the ‘buyer’ profile doesn’t mean you can’t scrutinise them as much as they’re wanting to scrutinise you.
EQUAL POWER EXCHANGE HERE! Ok?