When Panty Selling Sites Become Toxic

This conversation came up in my group Sellers Before Fellas yesterday when discussing a certain panty selling site.

There are a lot of panty selling sites out there at various stages in their journey. A lot of new panty sites come about and don’t tend to last too long – I know because I’ve interviewed a few of them – and some grow and develop into bigger, more popular sites.

There’s a magic formula when it comes to panty selling sites that includes numbers (of buyers and sellers), making sure the ratio of each is that sweet spot where there’s enough supply and demand, a well-functional site that is easy to use, navigate and fun to engage with AND culture.

Each site has its own unique culture and that is largely shaped by its users but can be driven top-down by the site management.

With site management there needs to also be this sweet spot between boundaries and rules being enforced fairly, enough free speech to make users feel valued and heard and a consistent approach applied across the board. Not easy, granted. In this work I’ve engaged with the owners/managers of a lot of different sites and their own personality certainly translates into the site ethos and culture!

However let’s come back to the culture of a site from the perspective of those using it.

Sites themselves can go through ups and downs depending on the users engaging.

A big site like Panty Deal will have users that have been there for years that can help to maintain a culture of sorts but also a lot of sellers coming and going and adding their own uniqueness to that culture. 

An influx of new sellers can affect the culture if, for example, they consistently undercharge or flout rules or even ‘agreed ways of behaving on the interface’. That’s why it’s not uncommon for ‘long in the tooth’ sellers to reach out (sometimes politely, sometimes not) to newer members and let them know what they may be doing wrong. Often it’s coming from a good place but there’s also the fact that more established sellers can get pissed when they feel that certain things are negatively impacting the site (and their income).

Here’s what I wrote in the group:

I was literally just thinking about the ‘culture’ of a platform and how when it turns sour what can be done to turn that around.

Too many sellers look to admin to fix it all and they DEFINITELY have a role to play in fostering the culture and helping to shape what’s acceptable and not.

That said, the best way to turn it around is to be the change and that takes a core amount of sellers to make things fun and engaging. The fucking irony is that complaining about no buyers on the feed is EXACTLY what will create…. no buyers! Because who the fuck wants to hang around in a place where a bunch of panty sellers are complaining?


Not even sellers so certainly not buyers!

It’s not going to happen over night but if sellers aim to turn things around through consistent fun posting and engaging – even if it’s only with each other – for a period of a few weeks, then there should be a change. Ultimately, it’s the platform’s job (priority) to bring buyers to the site. Let the sellers then create a welcome environment where the buyers want to buy. Sounds simple, I know it isn’t. But once a culture on a site gets gnarly, it takes a lot of people leaving and coming in to turn things back around!!!

Negativity breeds negativity. It’s gnarly like that. Once one seller starts complaining, it can spread.

Now, I want to be clear, I’m not saying do not raise concerns or speak out about things that are happening in the community that are fucked up or wrong. And a good site won’t automatically shut that conversation down either!

I’m talking specifically about posts like

“This site is dead”

“How come there are no buyers around?”

“All the buyers here are trash/cheapskates”

That is not likely to inspire sales.

If there is a real problem with a site then raising it with admin is the way to go and speaking to other sellers to get support from the community.

That’s another reason why a group of sellers is so important. We need that voice to shape change and to lift up other members who need that support.

So if you find yourself on a site where the culture is starting to bring you down, what can you do?

  1. Recognise that sites go through these phases – kind of like a woman’s cycle. There are ups and downs but things can get better – it’s rarely too far gone!
  2. Decide whether it’s worth your time/energy to engage if things are really that bad. You could decide to take a 2-4 month break from that site and renew your subscription after a while to see if things are better.
  3. If it’s an absolute energy drain and you hate being there, take a look at an alternative site. 
  4. Ask around in your sellers group what site others are on or whether there are any gaps in selling groups you can join.
  5. Speak to other sellers on the site (in a group or messages) and vow to make a concerted effort over a few days to lift the energy of the main wall.
  6. Make an effort to post uplifting/fun/engaging content even if you’re the only one doing it. It won’t go unnoticed!

It’s not easy working in a place that’s not bringing you joy but if you can try to have fun whilst engaging on your platform it can really make a difference to your income! It’s easy to get dragged into the negativity. It’s valid to be pissed off at things that you disagree with but you have the power to leave the site if it’s not working out for you or be part of an effort to turn things around to the benefit of all in that community.

P.S. Ready to start selling your panties online today?


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